Why is Self Care Sewing So Hard and 3 Tips to Improve
Let’s start by reframing our mindset
Firstly, before I changed the title of this blog I kept referring to the “issue” as selfish sewing. It’s a popular term coined across social media to depict any creative sewing project made for the creator themselves.
But the definition of selfish is:
(of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure.
From the offset this has really unhelpful and negative connotations when in reality there is nothing selfish about nurturing our hobbies, interests, skills or body confidence through the home sewn creation of apparel.
So what causes the block?
The dreaded creative block gets the best of us. Sometimes, however, it can confusingly rear its head as we find ourselves still sewing… but avoiding making anything for ourselves. Why is this? We obviously enjoy our craft, so why do we find it so difficult to invest in our own personal projects.
You could be caught up in perfectionism
Self doubt creeps in
You’re running before you can walk
Perfectionism
I struggled for years to identify as a perfectionist despite nearly everyone in my life telling me otherwise, (clue number one). In my mind I cut corners and I notice the flaws so how can I be a perfectionist if what I produce isn’t perfect?
Spoiler alert my friend, there is no such thing as perfect.
This refusal to accept any standard short of perfection can really get in our way and lead us to feel deflated when the pieces we make fall short of the mark. Please note, this is 99% of the time only ever in our head, we perfectionists are our toughest critic and those viewing our garments will not see the issues we think are there!
Self Doubt
The annoying thing is, being a perfectionist often feeds into the self doubt machine that sucks all your confidence and creative energy. But you don’t need to identify as a perfectionist for our old friend, Imposter Syndrome to creep in.
A great example of people having a creativity crisis is when approached by the 3 Day Design Challenge. So many of you don’t think you’re capable of designing your own clothes and time and time again, this challenge makes you realise otherwise. Over three short days I see people’s confidence and creativity unleash, the self doubt dissolves away and suddenly the inspiration has been reignited and the enthusiasm, energy and eagerness returns.
When I catch myself feeling unsure, I try to break the pattern and interrupt my train of thought, so why not try something new and enrol in the next challenge? I set a creative brief and together, as a creative community, we design ideas in response to it. You don’t even have to sew anything or be a remotely skilled artist, it’s all about developing a concept and applying your research to garment design.
Running before you can walk
By this, I mean jumping way ahead in the sewing journey without exploring the basic and foundational skills. This isn’t to say don’t push yourself, or try a new technique. Yet time and time again I hear from beginner sewists who have not long picked up a needle and thread and are throwing themselves into advanced projects or tackling tricky textiles.
Take things slow and enjoy the process. All we’re going to do by biting off more than we can chew is get overwhelmed, discouraged and - you guessed it - riddled with self doubt. See how this can be a vicious circle?!
So now that we’ve uncovered the surface as to why we struggle to self-care sew, let’s fix it.
Tips to rediscover your sew-jo
I could go on for days with advice, hints and hacks to break the creativity block, but this roundup offers some quick, actionable steps when you’re next feeling unsure. Don’t forget you’ll catch me at my best and have access to all my tips if you join our fashion membership, The DPL Atelier!
Staying Accountable and finding support
Make time with the pomodoro technique
Have a quick-win project to fall back on
The Power of Accountability
Speaking of our fashion membership, I made a decision several months ago to introduce Creative Coworking sessions. Being totally honest, there was a selfish reason behind it. I wanted to carve out the time to dedicate myself to personal projects and through other life experiences, I knew staying accountable with fellow peers was the best route to do it.
Think about it. You want to get fit? Hire a personal trainer or commit to going to the gym with a friend. I wanted to improve my horse riding, so I sought an instructor and coach. I always have a business mentor who I can turn to, they help me set goals and they check in so I don’t go too far off track.
You want to sew more? Find a group of likeminded people who will help you reach your goal. That’s exactly what our Creative Coworking sessions achieve.
For 90 minutes, once a month, we come together as a creative community and make a dent in those to-do piles. You would be so surprise at how much you can achieve in an hour and a half with supporting people around you. We socialise, we sew, we set goals and we support each other to fulfil them. It’s also incredibly beneficial to publicly commit to a date in the diary and feel obliged to turn up for others, when in reality you’re benefitting yourself!
Make time with the pomodoro technique
This nifty little life hack has revolutionised my time management with sewing and beyond. It really reduces the overwhelm of time intensive tasks… perfect for sewing! Sometimes the thought of sitting down at the machine for hours on end, even if it’s for a pattern we really want to make; can feel so overwhelming we choose to procrastinate instead.
The pomodoro technique (named after those little tomato shaped kitchen timers, pomodoro is tomato in Italian!) is the habit of setting your timer for say 20 to 25 minutes and committing that time to work. Dedicate that window to any project you wish but just think, it’s only 20 minutes. Then, when the timer goes off, force yourself - no matter how in the zone you are, force yourself to take a 5 minute break.
You can repeat this cycle as many times as you like and can play around with the time periods… though make sure your break does not exceed your working window! It really is a great strategy to work with the time you have in the day and can be as flexible as you are to wean back into making for yourself.
Fall Back on a Quick-Win Project
A quick-win sewing project is a tried and tested pattern that fills you with joy. It looks good, you’re confident constructing it and you know you can add several of them to your wardrobe in a range of colours.
For many, that can be the Belted Sweater, a beginner friendly make with simplicity on sewing skill but maximum reward on style and comfort. Can you think of a project that springs to mind? Let me know in the comments below!
Creating a quick win not only fills us with confidence, it can reignite why we fell in love with sewing in the first place. We don’t always want to toile everything and run through the fitting amendments, sometimes we just want to sew safe in the knowledge the final result will be something we like and will wear. This tactic can really help you get out of a rut and into a routine of building that dream wardrobe.
There we have it! 3 reasons you may be struggling to sew for yourself and some helpful suggestions and actionable steps for how to get back into the groove of making a wardrobe on your terms.
If you’d like to continue the journey and build your dream wardrobe with ease and enjoyment, why not check out my fashion membership where we Create, Cut and Construct clothes that fit in a safe online space to creatively express yourself through the medium of fashion. Click below to find out more and I’ll hopefully see you there!
As always, stay safe and keep creative x
